Retirement - What Am I Doing?
On July 1, 2024, I stepped away from thirty years in higher education. For my entire professional life, my days were structured by an academic calendar. Every fall, winter, and spring, I knew what I would be doing each weekend – outside with college students exposing them to the wonders of the natural world and gently urging them to become comfortable being uncomfortable. It was highly rewarding and fulfilling work, providing me with meaning and purpose. I felt as if I was making a difference on a personal level in young people’s lives.
Though still young and fit enough to meet the demands of my position, my decision to retire was driven by my desire to not have my time dictated by another. I had been working toward this moment since I first began pursuing my career…living below my means, eliminating debt, saving at a high rate, and putting my savings to work through investing wisely. I sought financial independence which yields the greatest of freedoms – the ability to wake up every morning and say, “I can do whatever I want today.” Though uncertainty exists and will continue to do so, I felt financially secure enough on my 54th birthday to step away from full-time work and begin a new journey into the unchartered territory of exclusively managing my own time.
As advised by mentors and friends who had retired early, I packed my first year without work as tightly as possible with adventure after adventure. It was a grand year of getting outside and completing some long unattended items on my bucket list. By doing so, I staved off any thoughts of my past work and urges to wonder how the program was getting on without me, or what I would be doing if I was still there. The year was meant to create space for finding a new identity that did not include that of a “collegiate outdoor educator.”
Now what?! My year of adventure is over and the space for creating a new version of myself has been created. Diana is taking work contracts. Putting herself out there and growing her professional career. One of my new roles is to support her in this journey. I strive to be the best “house husband” possible – taking care of all domestic duties, fixing all her meals for the day, simplifying her life outside of her work. Beyond those duties, I have time. Time to pursue and do whatever it is that I wish. Time to answer, “what do I want to do today?”
When contemplating retirement, I didn’t expect to struggle once I made the leap from working full-time to being the master of my time. I was so focused on getting to the finish line of achieving financial independence that I failed to think about what I wanted to do with my new freedom beyond continuing to get outside. I hadn’t thought about the loss of purpose that I would experience when I left my career.
So here I am at the start of a new year, going back in time to when I was about to be a college graduate. To a time of deep introspection and searching for who I wanted to be when I grew up. By examining my values, interests, opportunities, and inner most desires, I embarked on a journey of elimination – one where I tried different professions, activities, etc. and figured out what I didn’t want to do or be. With intentional effort I let my curiosity be my guide, helping me to discover passions and talents that I didn’t know I had. It was a journey that required patience and the ability to be present – for as I learned then, it is in the present where life is lived and self-actualization is realized.
My self-discovery took years with many dead ends encountered along the way. These impasses were helpful, as they guided me towards an eventual career and lifestyle that were rewarding and suited for me. I determined my path – not my family, friends, societal norms, or circumstance. This is the journey I am embarking on again. I don’t know where I will end up, but I do know that if I sit idly by letting time pass then I will never truly maximize my days of freedom with a purpose that energizes and motivates me to be the best version of my new self.